


Goodbye

by April_Gabriella



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: And so is Hannibal, Angst, DAMMIT WILL!!, Episode: s03e07 Digestivo, Hannibal in Love, Hannigram - Freeform, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm just... ruined, JUST TAKE IT WILL, Just a little heartache for the soul, Just let yourself have it PLEASE, Lucifer is Beautiful, Will and his inablility to take what he wants, Will knows it and so do we, will is in denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 22:36:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19895464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/April_Gabriella/pseuds/April_Gabriella
Summary: A silhouette appears and he knows its Hannibal. Always Hannibal. Standing surrounded by the glorious light like an angel.I've always heard Lucifer was beautiful.This is all a lie. He knows it even as he says it. He only hopes he can convince Hannibal. He wants Hannibal to believe the lie. Heneedshim to believe it, so that he can believe it too.





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a bit tipsy watching Digestivo again and this just came to me... I didn't want it to (because I have 5 drafts that I need to be working on), but here we are.

Will comes to consciousness slowly. Limbs and eyes sluggish from Cordell's drugs. He almost had his face cut off without anesthesia. He will never forget that moment for as long as he lives.

He will never forget this moment either. The moment the door opens and the light stings his eyes. A silhouette appears and he knows its Hannibal. Always Hannibal. Standing surrounded by the glorious light like an angel. He steps out of the light and smiles to see Will awake. It's such a tender smile. When he is eighty years old with dementia, he will remember that smile.

 _I've always heard Lucifer was beautiful_ , Will thinks and closes his eyes again. He doesn't know what he feels, but he knows, without doubt that he would be dead now if not for Hannibal. He doesn't know how to feel about that either.

He can hear Hannibal settling into a chair pulled up at his bedside. "Shall we talk about teacups and time, and the rules of disorder?"

Hannibal sounds amused. Will is anything but.

"The teacup's broken. It's never going to gather itself back together again.

Hannibal gazes at him for a moment, thoughtful. "Not even in your mind?"

Will just looks at him, and breathes. _Breathing is important_ , he reminds himself.

"Your memory palace is building it's... full of new things. It shares some rooms with my own."

Will finds himself nodding to this. It's true, and he can't find it within himself to deny it.

"I've discovered you there, victorious."

Will gives a long, controlled sigh. "When it comes to you and me, there can be no decisive victory." This is also true, and there's not even the temptation to think otherwise.

"We are in a zero-sum game." Hannibal looks like he wants to be saying something else, but Will turns away from him, away from what this conversation could be, lest he find himself lost.

"I miss my dogs. But I'm not going to miss you." If he says it enough he will begin to believe it right?

_Right??_

The look on Hannibal's face is... Will wishes, more than anything that he couldn't read it, that he didn't know. That look makes it so much harder. "I'm not going to find you, I'm not going to look for you," Will's heart breaks into a million pieces as he says the words. But he has to say them, he can't do this anymore. "I don't want to know where you are or what you do," This is all a lie. He knows it even as he says it. He only hopes he can convince Hannibal. If he can convince Hannibal that this lie is the truth, then maybe he can, one day, be free. Maybe he can even live. "I don't want to think about you anymore." It comes out more breathy than he means for it to, but at least it's out. He knows he will think of Hannibal everyday for the rest of his life, but Hannibal doesn't need to know that. He wants Hannibal to believe the lie. He _needs_ him to believe it, so that he can believe it too.

Hannibal struggles to find words, and Will's heart shatters even more. He doesn't know how much longer he can look at the heartbreak on Hannibal's face, it only serves as a reminder of his own. "You delight in wickedness and then berate yourself for the delight."

"You delight, I tolerate." Will swallows hard, because he did delight. He delighted in tearing Cordell's flesh from his face. But for the sake of freedom, he pretends he didn't. He wonders suddenly if he will ever truly be free. Hannibal is within him now, has been for longer than he has admitted, even to himself. He doubts he will ever be truly free of him. But he pushes these thoughts away, he has to. "I don't have your appetite."

The more Will speaks, the more he can _feel_ Hannibal crumble. He always thought he would find satisfaction in such a thing, but there is no satisfaction here. There is nothing but bitter heartbreak for both of them. _He hates_ the bitter taste of bile in the back of his throat, but he pushes on, because he's convinced himself that he has to.

He tries to open his mouth to say it. ' _Goodbye.'_ Just one word, it should be so easy. Two syllables, almost nothing, but he struggles for long moments to get it out and hopes Hannibal doesn't notice. Hopes Hannibal doesn't know how sick he is at this one word. Hopes Hannibal can't feel the overwhelming urge to crush him into his arms and cry.

"Goodbye, Hannibal." It finally comes out, because he forces it to. Will looks Hannibal right in the eyes as he says it. He won't turn away from Hannibal's pain, he wants it for himself. Not to gloat, not to revel, but to punish himself with it.

Hannibal does not disappoint, he never does. There is exquisite pain for Will to take in. Pain he has only seen once before, when Hannibal cut into his belly and left his mark. There are no physical marks this time, but the mental ones are felt just as keenly. Will is dying on his bed, in soft pajamas that Hannibal dressed him in. Bleeding out internally by his own doing.

Hannibal looks lost, and Will is lost right along with him. In identical forests thousands of miles apart. He gazes at Will at a loss and Will _feels_ it. He wants Hannibal to feel his loss too, regardless of the price, he wants Hannibal to feel how much this is costing him. But he also hopes he doesn't.

Hannibal stands slowly from the chair and Will has a sudden flash of Hannibal killing him. Slitting his throat with a hidden knife. Choking the life from him. Breaking his neck. And for a brief moment Will hopes he does. Wants Hannibal to kill him with his hands. Wants Hannibal to give him one last moment of intimacy before it's all over. That longing lasts until Hannibal walks slowly to the door and he realizes Hannibal isn't planning to kill him.

He feels a sharp stab of disappointment as Hannibal lingers at the door. Will finds himself wanting Hannibal to say something. _Anything_. He wants to hear that voice one more time. The voice he has heard in his dreams, his nightmares, his fantasies.

But Hannibal says nothing. He pauses at the door for the longest moment leaving Will breathless, but he says nothing. He simply walks through the door, and disappears.


End file.
